Good Preparation or Lack of Trust? March 8, 2010

A question that has baffled me for a long time… when is my over thinking or planning different scenarios a lack of trust and when is it considered good ole “preparation for what might happen?”  I know there is a line here and I do think trust and preparation can go hand in hand.  I also think I have used “good preparation” as a crutch for a form of control which is a result of not trusting.  So this is what’s on my mind…. my fear of germs, illnesses, cancer, people (especially the ones crazier than me) have had me around the clock thinking of how I would react in numerous scenarios and how I could prevent them.  Looking at it right now I can tell you that for me personally it is 100%  a control thing and unfortunatley that means i have not been trusting my Dad enough.  God already knows what is going to happen and nothing suprises Him.  I think that’s so cool.  So I can be as proactive as I would like, but I think my next step is making sure that I am not spending most of my time in “what if land” and spending more time enjoying the here & now that he is currently giving me.  This is just the beginning, I think, of a whole new life for me.  Years of this way of thinking and living won’t be easy to change, but WOW to the freedom of life I think this will open up for me.

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